Happy Halloween (or not)

I’ve always believed that the world can be divided into two groups: people who like Halloween and people who hate Halloween. I fall into the latter group. I dislike Halloween on so many levels that I doubt if I will ever change.

I didn’t always despise Halloween. As a child it was great fun to get dressed up and go trick or treating and end up with a bag full of candy. Who didn’t like that? Except if I were honest, close to half the candy went uneaten as I never did have a very big sweet tooth. After eating the candy I liked I would simply forget about the rest of it. By Thanksgiving Mom would find the old bag full of stale candy and would end up tossing it out. I’ve always wondered if I was alone or if other kids also ended up throwing out unwanted candy.

Then there was dressing up. Even through high school and college it was still fun to come up with a costume. Maybe that’s because I could get away with going as a cute witch or sexy bar maid or a fun flapper. But once I hit my thirties I dropped out from being an active participant and simply let the kids have the day.

I know that for lovers of Halloween they enjoy becoming somebody else for a day. That’s fine, for a guy. But for an aging woman who is self conscious of the fact that gravity is taking over then Halloween is worse than swim suit season. For not only do you have to find a costume that is somewhat becoming but you are also being judged on your creativity. Way too much pressure for what is supposed to be a fun day.

As an adult, I am now the one to provide the candy to all the trick or treating kids. I once made the mistake of buying a home in a very young community with an elementary school just around the corner. Wanting to be neighborly I bought four large bags of candy and turned on the outside light at 6pm. By 6:45 I ran out of candy. These kids came in droves, wave after wave of children seeking candy from me. I have never seen so many children in my entire life. And as the evening grew later, the cute little kids slowly morphed into older tougher looking kids who you thought wouldn’t hesitate to trick if you didn’t treat. What was really intimidating was when the “children” were taller than me and didn’t even bother with a costume. I finally had to turn off the lights, not just the outside one but the inside lights that anyone could see from the street. And yet they still rang the bell as I hid in my bedroom and ignored them and hoped they would go away.

The next year I didn’t even try to appease the candy possessed children of my neighborhood. Rather than cower all evening in my bedroom, I came up with what I thought was a great idea. Instead of going home after work, I headed for my local mall. I correctly figured that nobody would be getting their hair cut and nails painted that night. So while children were futilely knocking on my door, I was out getting pampered. I even enjoyed watching the little ones all dressed up who were trick or treating in the safety of the mall. On my way home, I was still astounded at the masses of children swarming up and down my street. And like heat seeking missiles, they zeroed in on my car and watched with candy glazed eyes as I pulled into my driveway. But they were out of luck as I crept through my darkened house to my back bedroom where I stayed out of sight for the rest of the night. By the time Halloween came around the next year I had moved to a private gated community with very few children. Much better!

And then on top of it all there is that whole scary theme. For weeks prior to Halloween it is impossible to find a nice movie on TV, all the channels are playing every horror film that they have. And I don’t like horror films. I was once persuaded to see The Shining and had nightmares for months seeing Jack’s face with that big scary grin. Oddly enough, I love scary books and have read every King book, a lot of Koontz and other authors who write creepy, spooky books. But if they get too spooky I can skim it but in a movie I am forced to watch what happens next. I have however, discovered one trick if I end up watching a scary movie at home – turn off the sound. In a scene where there is no conversation only action if you turn off the creepy music the scene is a lot easier to watch!

But its not just scary movies, I also get spooked in haunted houses. I know that is the purpose of a haunted house – to scare the people who go through them. But I have a very sensitive startle reflex and haunted houses constantly trigger reactions from me. Hell, as a child I never even liked hide and seek because the idea of someone chasing after me was very scary to me. So a haunted house where things chase you, pop out of nowhere or reach out to grab you gives me nightmares for months. The only haunted house I have ever like was Disney’s and other than that wonderful haunted house I think I will pass.

About half of you are nodding your heads in agreement. The other half are thinking I am nuts and making way too much out of what is a fun day. Fine. I hope the latter group has a fun time in their costumes and going to their haunted houses or parties. The rest of us will be hiding in our bedrooms watching old sitcoms and counting the hours until the night is over. And just our luck, Saturday night is when we are to turn our clocks back an hour. So the Halloween lovers will get an extra hour to party while the rest of us will hopefully sleep through the night, extra hour and all. Happy Halloween - or not....

Childhood Icons

Two more links to my childhood died this week. The first person who passed away was Soupy Sales. Hated by every parent, we children loved him. To put him in perspective, Krusty the Clown was partially inspired by Soupy and, like The Simpsons, The Soupy Sales Show was edgy and appealed as the antithesis to the gentle Captain Kangaroo.

As any Baby Boomer will tell you, Soupy Sales was famous for two things. First was the constant pie throwing. No one was exempt from getting a pie in the face and the kids loved it. It may seem so tame now but back then it was a prank worthy of Bart Simpson. Seeing Soupy Sales throw a pie at another adult was not only funny but also very gratifying, the equivalent, today, to a kid giving the finger to an adult. And there were a lot of pies thrown as it is estimated that Soupy tossed 20,000 pies. Surprisingly, his show’s guest list read like a Who’s Who of the 1960’s including Frank Sinatra, Shirley McClain, Jerry Lewis and even Judy Garland, all of whom received a pie in the face. Even though half the time we didn’t recognize the famous guests, it didn’t really matter. For we were too busy transferring the face of a teacher or coach or relative onto whomever was really getting hit with a pie and oh, the delight at the thought of that other person covered in pie and whip cream.

But what propelled Soupy Sales from a silly kids show into TV notoriety was his live show the morning of January 1, 1965. Not exactly pleased that he had to work the morning after New Year’s Eve, he pushed the envelope a tad bit too far. Before signing off on his show, he told all of his viewers to tiptoe into their still sleeping parents’ bedroom and take those “funny green pieces of paper with pictures of Presidents” from their parents’ pants and pocketbooks. He then instructed his young viewers to “Put them in an envelope and mail them to me! And I’ll send you a postcard from Puerto Rica!” At that point Soupy got hit with a pie as if to indicate it was a joke.

To his surprise, the children actually did what he told them to do; they stole the money from their parents and mailed it to him! He ended up having to state on air that it was a joke, and after apologizing he further stated that the money he was receiving would go to charity. But the story had a life of its own and snowballed into a huge fiasco in which the network suspending Soupy for two-weeks. Afterwards Soupy ended up even more popular and forever would be linked with this infamous TV story.

The other person who died this week was Vic Mizzy who was 93. Never heard of him? While neither had I. But if you’re a Baby Boomer, you could probably complete the following: “They’re creepy and they’re ….” And if you can’t remember all the words you at least could immediately identify where it’s from. Want to try again? Ok how about remembering the words to this: “The chores, the stores, fresh…, ….. …..”. No? Oh sure if you heard it sung you would know the source immediately.

For you non-Baby Boomers the missing word from the first is “They’re creepy and they’re spooky, mysterious and kooky, they’re all together ooky, the Addams Family”. The answer to the other is “The chores, the stores, fresh air, Times Square” and is the chorus to the theme song for Green Acres. While Vic Mizzy wrote numerous songs and theme songs, these are his best known works.

Although most people turn their noses up at theme songs, I think they are an important part of our culture. By the 1960’s and 70’s nearly everyone in this country had a TV yet at the same time, there weren’t that many channels available so more people watched the same shows than today. Unlike almost anything else before or after, these shows and characters brought the country together. And while most people can barely remember a specific episode from their favorite show, they would be surprised to realize that they had learned the show’s theme song. Some theme songs are more memorable than others and I would put Vic Mizzy’s Addam’s Family and Green Acres in that category.

My belief that theme songs are an important part of our culture stems from an incident I had while I was on a European tour comprised of young people aged 21 to 30. We came from all across the US and had little in common other than this tour and our twenty-something age. One night, while in Vienna Austria, we were booked for dinner in this smallish restaurant on the outskirts of the town. The restaurant was filled with locals who would all start singing at the drop of a hat.

After a few beers we began to haltingly talk to them and were soon asked to sing a song from America. We were stumped to find a song that we all knew. It was impossible as some on the tour like country, others liked pop etc. Then someone in our group started to sing the theme song to the Love Boat. To my surprise I discovered that I actually knew the words and was soon joining in. From there we went to The Brady Bunch, The Addams Family and yes, Green Acres. As silly as it may sound, singing these theme songs brought us together into a united group with shared experiences that helped to remind us we were Americans.

In the passing of Soupy Sales and Vic Mizzy, we say goodbye to two iconic men of the 1960’s. But they left behind images and words that will live forever and will always be a part of my childhood and of one special night in Vienna.

Phone Talk

If you are over 50 then you remember what a real phone looked like in comparison to the phones today. Up until the last decade or so, when you talked into a phone you were really talking into the phone. These telephones made sense. They were solid and comfortable in your hand. There was an earpiece that cupped around your ear and a mouth piece that was actually at your mouth. The only place to find phones like that today are in some offices but most people spend their time talking on little cell and cordless phones.

These old phones may be technological dinosaurs but they had some great benefits missing in today’s phones. For example, there was nothing more satisfying than slamming the phone down to show your anger to the other person. Or when sharing the phone, to huddle with a friend or family listening in to the ear piece together. Sadly, the art of slamming a phone is now a thing of the past. It is impossible to do this when all you do is push a button or close a lid to hang up on somebody. I must admit I miss the solidness and sound effects of slamming a phone especially when I want to end a conversation with a salesperson. Sure, we now have caller ID so that we can ignore calls from people but if you never slammed a phone you don’t know what you are missing. As for sharing a phone, forget about it with today’s cell phones. I guess you could simply put it on Speakerphone but that isn’t the same as sitting side by side, each with an ear pressed to the earpiece, as shown so tenderly in the classic telephone scene in Its A Wonderful Life.

All in all, the phones of yesteryear made sense whereas today’s phones seem downright silly. First, they are tiny in comparison to earlier phones. Sure this is what we say we want so that we can now easily slip a phone into a purse or pocket but we lost something along the way. I recently used my brother’s cell phone which was about the size and shape of a playing card. It felt rather foolish to put this thin square thing up to my ear. Even worse is that when placed against your ear most cell phones and cordless phones end about mid cheek. So unlike in the past when you actually talked into a mouthpiece that was positioned at your mouth you are now supposed to talk into the air and just assume that the cell phone up by your cheek is capturing what you say. It seems very bizarre if you think about it.

The other thing with today’s cell phones is that not only does it seem strange to talk into them but nowadays people spend as much time typing on a phone as talking on them. I would have thought you were nuts if you told me 35 years ago that I would be typing on my phone. But I look back to the old days when I was a teen and recall all the notes that were passed between my friends and I. So yes, I can see the appeal of texting, especially the feature of quickly deleting the text so that you never have the problem of a teacher confiscating a note and potentially reading it to the whole class.

Speaking of teens, when I was 15 my family moved and I was allowed to help decorate my new bedroom. There were only two things that I really wanted; a white shag rug (yes, really!) and a white princess phone just like the blue one shown at the right. I loved that phone. Unlike the other phones in the house, it had push buttons rather than a rotary dial. Huh. I bet kids today don’t even know what a rotary dial is! Or know about the mindless fun of twirling the phone cord around and around then dropping the phone handle and watching it spin faster and faster.

I also don't think kids today are taught phone etiquette any more. As a child my mother taught me how to politely answer our phone, take a message and end the conversation. Today? Parents are often befuddled over the newest cell and cordless phones which their kids, however, quickly master. And as phones are no longer just in the house we need to define new etiquette rules to handle the new cell phone situations such as accepting calls in public places and handling personal calls or texting while at work. And of course we need to create and enforce laws banning cell phone texting while driving and maybe even ban talking on a cell if the driver is holding the cell. Or perhaps I am truly showing my age to even suggest phone etiquette when most etiquette guidelines are a thing of the past. That’s too bad for it is etiquette that allows a society to live together harmoniously. But that’s a topic for another day.

You are probably not surprised to learn that I still have an old fashioned "princess" phone. I like to occasionally use it, especially for a long phone call. My hand doesn’t cramp as much when I am holding my old bigger phone. I also discovered a major advantage to keeping my old phone – it works during a hurricane. When we had three hurricanes go over my town a few years ago one of the first things that went was the electricity which meant your cordless phones were now useless. Cell phone usage became very sporadic partly due to damaged cell towers and partly due to everyone trying to call in and out. Plus without power, if you didn’t have a car charger then your cell was useless if the crisis lasted more than a day or two. But my trusty old princess phone still worked like a charm.

Cell phones may do all kinds of things but you have to admit that they are rather plain looking and even the names are dull. Iphones may be terrific but to a preteen girl the name sure sounds boring in comparison to a “princess” phone. Better yet, remember when you could get a phone in the shape of a golf ball or poodle or dozen of shapes to suit your home? Now that was cool. So people today may be enthralled with their fancy little Ipod phones but they’ll never have a phone, like I once had, which was in the shape of a football and worked during hurricanes, will they?

My Hurricane Diet

I woke up this morning to discover that not only do we have our first named hurricanes of the season, Anna and Bill, but a third tropical storm popped out of nowhere in the Gulf. So what had been a nonevent, hurricane wise, all summer, suddenly has started with a bang.

Yeah! Not only does this mean the start of the hurricane season but for me it also means the start of my hurricane diet. If you have never heard of the hurricane diet, don’t feel badly. Although I founded it five years ago I haven’t told many people about my new diet.

Actually, I should have known that we would finally have our first hurricanes of this season during this weekend. You see on Thursday I did something that I haven’t done in a long time – I went grocery shopping. I dislike doing this and avoid it if I can. In fact in the 90’s when I worked for casinos where I could eat for free, I figure that in a four year period I walked into a grocery store no more than 5 times. My life has changed such that I have to feed myself which means an occasional trip to the grocery store.

I needed moral support so a friend went with me to the grocery store where I spent a whopping $67 on food. Now my freezer has more than a bottle of Absolut and a stick of butter and my refrigerator even has things in the meat and crisper drawers! So it comes as absolutely no surprise that we are now surrounded by Anna, Bill and a third tropical storm in the Gulf which seemed to have appeared overnight. Granted the first two may fizzle out before getting to the coast and the third will hopefully head towards the peninsular but it is still a reminder of what may come over the next few months.

So what is the hurricane diet? It was created out of necessity during a very active hurricane season in 2004. Like this weekend, I had just gone grocery shopping and had a full freezer and fridge when hurricane Charlie hit. As hurricanes are prone to do, this one ignored the weathermen’s’ predictions and at the last minute ramped up in strength to a Cat 4 and then swerved right and landed not in Tampa as projected but further south. Then it took a totally unpredicted course of running straight up the state and right over my house!

OK, as I was lucky and escaped damage I have to admit it was pretty cool. My family moved to Central Florida 30 years ago and this was my first encounter with a hurricane. Yes I was scared as I “hunkered down” in my bathroom but at the same time it was pretty mind-blowing to hear the weatherman state that “the eye of the hurricane is now directly over Altamonte”, the town where I lived. How awesome is that? But then my power went out and the wind kept blowing and trees falling and rain pouring down and things seemed a bit scarier.

After three days without power and with temps in the mid 90’s I figured that the food in my freezer and fridge was no good so I emptied it all out and threw it away. I started to think about refilling it but then came hurricane Francis during Labor Day weekend, landing on September 5th. This one came in on the east coast between Palm Beach and Cape Canaveral and yet it still angled upward such that she, too, came straight for my house. If it weren’t for the killer winds blowing down trees which then crashed into houses it was almost boring. Plus I have to admit that with Charlie there was a kind of initial novelty of having a hurricane in your backyard. But twice in a matter of weeks was a bit too much.

So imagine our utter shock in finding out that a third hurricane was now coming. We watched with total relief as Ivan missed Central Florida completely. It hit on the 15th with very destructive Cat 5 winds and as sorry as we felt for the folks in Mobile we couldn’t help but be glad it wasn’t us. However, as we were all watching Ivan, nobody realized that Jeanne was slowly building out in the Atlantic. And slowly was the word for Jeanne. It first developed around the 13th yet didn’t make landfall until the 25th. At this point we were all definitely over hurricanes; and waiting around for Jeanne to hit didn’t help. Following the exact same path as Francis, Jeanne slowly made her way across the state of Florida and for the third time in 6 weeks I had a hurricane pass right over my house.

A side effect for me of Charlie, Francis and Jeanne was that I lost weight. This wasn’t a planned diet and I didn’t even realize until the end of the 2004 hurricane season that I had lost 12 lbs! So how did I do it? Well, once I threw out the bad food in my fridge I then kept putting off filling it back up again. Why bother? Every time I thought about going to the grocery store there would be talk of another hurricane heading my way. And who wants to spend all that money on food when you might lose electricity for a few days as I did with each hurricane. So what did I eat? I am not really sure. I think I reverted to previous times when I would eat something for lunch at work (although now having to pay for it) and then I would skip dinner or perhaps have a bowl of cereal.

Now that we have Anna, Bill and no name Tropical Storm 4 then it is time to implement my hurricane diet. I just wish I knew what it consists of so that I can do it again! On the other hand, having just filled my fridge I am tempted to eat everything now before I get hit with a hurricane and have to throw it all out. But I do know that binge eating isn’t a part of the diet. I suppose that the key to my hurricane diet isn’t in avoiding carbs or fats or starches but by simply avoiding food entirely! And the best way to do that is to keep your refrigerator empty so that you won’t be tempted to actually eat. So who knows, perhaps someday my hurricane diet will be the next fad. Unless of course, those who are following the Mother Hubbard diet get noticed first!

Cougars, MILFs and Matrons

Have you seen the recent pictures of Madonna? Or more specifically, have you seen the photos of her arms? They are gross in so many ways. Do men find this look at all attractive? I can’t help but think that they just might prefer a softer arm rather than one which just might be able to beat them in arm wrestling.

Personally, when I see the new pics of Madonna for some reason I keep thinking of a plucked chicken. Now that she appears to have no body fat at all she has crossed over from being thin to being just plain scrawny. The real problem, however, is that it was bad enough that you dieted and worked out continuously when you were in your twenties and thirties but now you’re supposed to keep this up in your forties and fifties and even sixties, if you check out the pictures of famous older actresses. Not too long ago 39 year old Jennifer Aniston posed nude on the cover of a magazine. Good for her and persnoally I think her ex Brad Pitt was nuts to trade her in for Angelina Jolie.


But what ever happened to the idea of the matronly look when you hit a certain age? I always used to read about the matrons who had acquired a certain look due to gravity, age and good food and it was a look that was very accepted in society. But today, instead of being able to have that matronly image you’re now supposed to be a cougar or MILF.

Just to make sure I had it correct, I checked out the Urban Dictionary for their definition of Cougar which is “A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar … gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path.” Examples of Cougars who have married younger men are Susan Sarandon, Joan Collins and Demi Moore.

If you are married, and hopefully not looking for a younger man, then you’re supposed to strive to be a MILF which the Urban Dictionary defines as “mothers, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physical attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them.”; hence the acronym for Mothers I’d Like to F… Nice, huh? One example of a MILF is Katie Holmes, but again, I think she has crossed over the line of thinness to being skeletal.

But it doesn’t stop with Cougars or MILF’s either. We’re now being bombarded with images of 60, 70 and even 80 year old actresses who are still working out and starving themselves to present an acceptably thin, toned look. Good grief! I mean have you seen these pictures of Raquel Welch at 67 or the queen of plastic surgery Joan Rivers (76) or Joan Collins, also 76 who continues to look sexy and glamorous. And then there was 83 year old Cloris Leachman dancing away. Don’t we ever catch a break? Are women going to have to hit the gym for their whole lives? Don’t we ever get time off for good behavior? Isn’t there a point when we can say enough already and let our bodies do what it is fighting to do since we were 20, which is to droop, sag, widen and bulge.

I’m not even sure the stores still make the underclothing to help bodies which have aged naturally. Do stores even sell girdles, that necessity for older women before the 1970’s? You could say that in the 1960’s and 1970’s we went through that “let it all hang out” philosophy. This was replaced with Jane Fonda’s workouts to whip women of all ages into shape. It was just our bad luck that unlike parachute pants and big hair, exercising is one craze that never died out. And of course, 72 year old Jane Fonda still looks great. You may not like her but damn if she doesn't look great for her age.

And that is the key - age, older woman are trying to deny the fact that they are old. And that is a shame. I am truly sorry that society will most likely never go back to the old days where men appreciated the older woman who had a bit more curves than her younger counterpart. For when we can easily erase the lines age has etched on our faces with in a few minutes with Botox then there is no hope that society will ever value the experiences and wisdom those lines represented.

As I wrote this I have been wracking my brain to come up with a single famous woman who has allowed herself to age naturally. Finally, I thought of one example, although tellingly she is not an actress and never had to make a living based on her looks. My idol for ageing gracefully is 84 year old former First Lady Barbara Bush. Now here is a lady, in the true sense of the word, who has allowed the world to see every line, every crease on her face. And regardless of what we thought of her husband, almost everyone fell in love with her. We wanted Mrs Bush to be our grandmother, our mother. So forget trying to be a MILF or Cougar, I would be just as happy if I could be as happy and peaceful in my body as Mrs Bush is with hers.

Weddings and the Great Cookie Caper

Have you seen the Youtube video of the dancing wedding? This is the coolest wedding I’ve seen in years: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0. Isn’t that great? Kudos to whomever came up with the idea of changing the boring way in which every wedding begins – with the bridesmaids slowly walking up the aisle doing that step pause step walk followed by the bride walking down the aisle to the traditional music. Snore! Weddings are a serious, solemn occasion and yet they are also a joyous celebration of the love of two people and their hope for the future. So why not dance your way to the minister?

Speaking of weddings, my family is getting caught up in my nephew’s wedding plans. This is not only the first wedding in the family since my brother’s 18 years ago but it will also be the first time the entire family has been together in nearly 10 years. We’ve had other family reunions in the past decade but there was always one or two people missing. Last year I had to miss my Mom’s 80th birthday reunion and three years ago two of my nephews were absent from our vacation in the Smokies. This wedding is then extra special for who knows when or if we will ever all be together again.

So this is turning into a really big event. While the bride and groom, Meg and Jay, and my sister Carol are making the wedding and rehearsal dinner plans, the rest of us were making travel arrangements to fly to Dallas. The family has become quite spread out with people flying in from Boston, Virginia, Rhode Island, Florida and Nevada. There will be a lot of airport runs that weekend!

Meanwhile, my mother, who lives a few blocks from the wedding couple, has been arranging the Great Cookie Caper. Although the TX group lives north of Dallas, the wedding itself is in downtown Dallas and will be held around 8 pm followed by a reception afterwards. Since everyone plans to partake of the open bar at the reception it was decided we would all stay at the nearby Weston after the wedding. But an 8pm wedding with only light appetizers afterwards means we need to have dinner beforehand. Plans now include a good lunch earlier and then to save time (and money) everyone will pack their dinner of a sandwich, chips and cookies at my sister's house. We would then drive down to Dallas in the afternoon, check in, get ready for the wedding at the hotel and munch on our packed meal for dinner.

My mother is in charge of providing the cookies. Twenty even ten years ago she would have baked dozens and dozens of cookies. But at 81 and living in a smallish apartment she has opted to instead, well, steal them. She lives in a lovely place for older people but it isn’t an assisted living facility, it is more like a dorm for old folks, where everyone has their own apartments and takes care of themselves. It is certainly a very beautiful place and does provide lovely a dining room for lunch and dinner; complete with waiters and a varied menu. It also offers a rotating menu of cookies and for the resident’s convenience the waiters will wrap up cookies for them to take back to their apartments for a late afternoon or before bed snack.

Now my mother is truly a very classy lady, a pillar of her church who taught her children to respect the law and authority figures. So how she came up with her Great Cookie Caper idea is beyond me. As you have probably figured out, she has now started to request two cookies after dinner which she is putting in her freezer to save for our dinner the night of the wedding. But it is not just her – she has enlisted the help of her senior friends, too.

So now there is a gaggle of grandparents requesting their two cookies after each meal and then surreptitiously handing them over to my Mom. I’m sure she has computed to the exact number how many cookies she will have by the end of the next two months. Living in Florida where the seniors are notorious for taking anything not nailed down at restaurants I have to admit that I was more than a bit taken back by Mom and her Great Cookie Caper. (And no I didn’t come up with the name, she and her friends did that, too.) But I have to admit she sure is having fun with this.

I chalk it all up to Wedding Madness that overtakes anyone involved with a wedding. The Texas crowd is already over the top about this wedding and the rest of us are catching it, too. We’ve already spent countless hours on the phone talking about dresses – not the bride’s but ours and what we will wear to the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, the luncheon at Mom’s, does it fit now, will we lose enough weight so it will fit then etc. etc. And to think, there is still two months to go….

Top 10 Books To Read Before You Die (Books 1-5)

In my last blog I talked about AOL’s Top 10 Books To Read Before You Die. I thought that the 6th through 10th books included some definite hits (Atlas Shrugged and To Kill A Mockingbird), a questionable (Catcher in the Rye) and what I would consider to be two misses (Angels and Demons and The DiVinci Code) particularly in light of the fact that no Dickens, Austen, Twain or Alcott books made the list. Now for a look at the top 5 books according to a survey of their favorite book by 2400 adults.

Surprisingly books 3-5 are all about the fundamental theme of good versus evil. They each tell wonderful stories that will transport you to another time and another world. Of the three, book 5 is my favorite. Written in 1978, The Stand is considered by both critics and fans to be Stephen Kings best work ever. It tells the gripping story of an apocalyptic world dealing with the ultimate struggle between God with strong overtones of Christianity versus evil and what you assume is the devil. Yes it has the later trademark touches of horror when he is dealing with the post apocalyptic world but King also knows how to tell a great story, creating believable characters of all ages and backgrounds, catching your imagination from the first pages and making it difficult to put down. I loved The Stand when it first came out and it remains my favorite King novel and one of my personal top books of all time.

OK, I also loved book 4, which isn’t one book but a series of books about good versus evil but this time under the guise of wizards and one young boy. Of course I am talking about the Harry Potter series which took the world by storm with the very first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone right through the last of the seven book series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. These well written stories captured the imagination of children which encouraged them to actually read. Although childrens and teens will love these books, adults will also easily be entranced by Harry's world as he and his friends come of age while dealing with the surrounding threat of the dark wizard.

The 3rd book recommended to read before you die is perhaps the ultimate fantasy novel of good versus evil; The Lord of the Rings. AOL explains it best: “The Lord of the Rings is regarded by many to be the most important and influential work of fantasy of the 20th century. It generated the fantasy novel industry practically single-handedly, inspiring a multitude of novels concerning elves and dwarves on quests to conquer ultimate evil despite overwhelming odds. Although intended to be published as a single volume, its division into a trilogy created the iconic format for epic fantasy literature.”

I have read and enjoyed all three of these books. Would I say you had to read them before you die? Actually, no, not all of them. Harry Potter is a very good read but other than missing out on words it has added to our vocabulary (muggles, quidditch) it is not necessarily a must read. If you enjoy fantasy novels then yes, you must read the father of them all, The Lord of the Rings, but I realize that elves, dwarves and hobbits are not everyone’s cup of tea and therefore they should skip this trilogy. However, I would recommend The Stand to everyone. When King tries to gross you out with a bit of horror simply skim that part but his epic struggle of these wonderful characters dealing with the fight between good and evil is not to be missed. And for nonreaders, all three have had very good movies based on these books.

Surprisingly, Gone with the Wind was listed as the 2nd favorite book to read before you die. I didn’t know people still read it and even more amazed that they named it as their favorite book. But they definitely got it right with this one. The epic story of Scarlett and Rhett set in Georgia during the Civil War not only accurately depicts our history but the book and subsequent movie has become an integral part of our culture. I am not sure if I would have thought of this book but I am glad that everyone else has!

I started to write that there should be no surprise that the number one book to read before you die is The Holy Bible. And yet perhaps it is surprising that in this day and age when atheism is the fastest growing religion that the people polled still named The Holy Bible as their favorite book. On the other hand, I couldn’t help but be in turn first outraged, then astounded and finally bemused by how AOL tried to describe the Bible in secular terms and without ever mentioning religion, Christianity or even Judaism: "The most popular and best-selling book of all time is The Holy Bible. No book has had more influence on the world. Its pages tell the story of the creation, fall, and redemption of mankind. Relive the story of creation and the fall of man in Genesis. Cross the wilderness with Moses in Exodus. Welcome the coming of Jesus Christ in the Gospels. The Holy Bible contains epic stories of history, heroism, and hope".

Unbelievable, isn’t it? I am almost surprised that they didn’t call it a fantasy novel of good vs. evil just like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter. Good thing that people still can make up their own mind against the constant battering on religion. And I hope that The Holy Bible continues to be the number one book for decades to come….